Music can be an interesting medium. Your goal in a performance is the faithful reproduction, both aural and emotional, of the composer’s internal wishes. Internal, because until you perform it, it’s all in his or her head (or on his or her paper.) Performers and conductors alike, not wishing the performance to be totally cerebral, sometimes use imagery to evoke the feelings and emotions necessary for a truly honest transmission of the writer’s idea. Actors do the same thing.
My daughter, a violinist, was looking over the conductor’s score one evening during a break in rehearsal. There was a point in the piece where the music was to grow very expressive, almost melancholy. Amid all of the other expression marks like crescendos and such, there was, in the margin, a note that said simply: 5:00 on a November evening.
The inscription and its purpose may or may not have escaped my daughter (I don’t recall,) but I do remember how immediate the effect was. I was there. Somewhere on a fall evening, smelling leaves, skies partly cloudy, while overhead birds migrated south, I was swept along with his imagery and could have easily felt it all. It was amazing.
What’s your day? What day did you feel exactly like you wanted to? When was the last day things went your way? Get that experience back firmly in your mind and take advantage of it. If you want to feel like that again, you must feel that way now and as often as possible. Bad feelings attract bad feeling, and the reverse is also true (but you know this, right?) Make an effort to remind yourself that you don’t always feel bad and that things don’t always go wrong. Find those happy days and put the dates on small post-its in places that you will stumble across and smile and feel good again.
Happiness can become habit-forming.